All photographs were taken with a Fuji X-pro-1 with 27mm lens.
Go follow and support Stewart!
Stewart James blog
All photographs were taken with a Fuji X-pro-1 with 27mm lens.
Go follow and support Stewart!
Stewart James blog
Where has this week gone? I feel as though it has been a complete relief signing this week of here and being able to walk into a new one tomorrow. This week has been full of yet more stress that I’ve found really hard to shift from and shrug off.
On Monday we took a trip to see Stewart’s grandparents, we ended up going out for lunch at the crown and arrows. I the cheesiest macaroni cheese you can imagine and Stewart decided to go for the ”hot, hot, hot challenge” I tried a bit of his hot sauce and it blew my head off. How he managed to eat the whole lot I have no idea.
I spent the rest of the day playing sims 4 in bed. YES!!!!
I’m struggling to remember what we did today and there are no images on my phone to really suggest what we did do all day. I know we were supposed to be going to wetlands with my side of the family however we didn’t due to the rainy dull weather, good job we didn’t really as well as we found out on Wednesday that the place was shut now.
Wednesday was intended to be a day out at the beach with my side of the family, unfortunately, due to circumstances this was unable to happen and we ended up in Costa and at a local park instead. Still a lot of fun but not the kind of fun I think we all had in mind.
Thursday was ace. We went to a Japanese meditation garden with Stewart’s side of the family again and honestly, it was the best place I have been in a long time. It was so pretty and peaceful and it had the most wonderful crystal garden I have ever seen in my life. You can see the images from this here.
I’ve gone into a proper spiritual place myself recently and I do get the impression some people might think I’m a bit weird or bonkers for doing so but it’s something I have done personally in my own time for many years now only now I have accepted that I am a quirky soul and I am embracing that, no matter what other people think of me.
Friday was housework day. Since Stewart’s week, off started the house has been neglected massively and I just woke up in a foul mood and cleaned the shit out of the house. We then went to get some plants that clean the air within your home and then sat watching really badly made, cheesy documentaries for the rest of the day.
I woke up Saturday, not in the greatest mood and it wasn’t really looking like it was going to improve if I am honest so we decided to go to Rand Farm (The home that’s not home). What better way to rid yourself of negative energy than giving loads of animals attention and love. I honestly have become so connected with animals and life over the summer that nothing has made me happier than animals do. We even looked at the bunny rabbits and I was completely and utterly in my element. I am defo getting a Rex rabbit next.
We also decided to go ghost hunting, something we did for a laugh and to stimulate our curiosity really, however where we went was pretty dull… If you’d like to know more about this then please let me know.
Feel free to check out Stewart’s guest post here
Stewart’s last day off. I am soon back to my own routines. As much as it is nice having the company on such a long period of time off college it’s much nicer when you get to have that time back to yourself. For the past 2 weeks I have fallen out of my daily routine completely and I have paid for it. I have not worked out for two weeks and I’ve eaten complete junk and honestly, I cannot wait for Monday to come around so I can get back into the gym without any distractions and shift the pounds I’ve put back on.
Today we took a trip to Sutton on Sea, mainly to collect some materials for me to make some cute stuff with for the remainder of the summer but more importantly to brush off any negative energy from the week. I feel as though my week has been very negative and frustrating. Today I plan to return home in a fresh state of mind and a bit more positive.
Today (Thursday 10th August) we went to a Japanese meditation garden and I had no idea what to expect so instead of lugging around my Canon DSLR I decided that I would just use my phone to get some images of the place to show you guys.
If you’re from around near where I live, (Lincoln, Newark, Gainsborough) I seriously suggest you go give this place a visit. It is absolutely stunning, Maybe not for you if you’re not into meditation and anything connected to that, if you like beautiful landscaping and gardens you’ll certainly find it interesting, if you like pretty things, you’ll absolutely die for the crystal garden, like I did.
All photographs were taken with iPhone 7plus and edited using VSCO cam.
For more information regarding the gardens visit; http://www.buddhamaitreya.co.uk/
I’d heard mixed reports about Nottingham and honestly did not know what to expect from the city. The whole aim of the trip to Nottingham was to go and get some photography of the city. I’m quite into the architectural style of photography at the moment so I am embracing that before I head off back to college next month.
Nottingham wasn’t as tall as I expected it to be, was massive in other ways, just not upwards and that disappointed me a little bit. I am a mass lover of Manchester though and I feel as though I was expecting Manchester on a smaller scale and instead I got Lincoln on a larger scale, which wasn’t all bad I guess.
What I liked about it was the fact it wasn’t home. It felt new and I love the feeling of exploring somewhere new, it was almost as though I was on holiday for the day. Exploring a city I’d never been to before, a city also that is quite close to home.
I was so busy using my eyes to look around and taking in my surroundings that I actually forgot to use my camera quite a lot of the time. I managed to get a few images but not near the amount I had hoped to come home with.
All images taken with a Canon 6D.
Here we are, another week has gone by and I have to say it has been a lot better than last week. I’ve had a pretty positive, anxiety free week and it has been a breath of fresh air. I’ve had company for most of the week as well which has been nice. I love having people come and stay with me cause it actually forces me to do stuff instead of sitting staring at my MacBook doing all sorts of admin work. I haven’t really done anything totally interesting this week;
Another trip to mothers was on the cards today, me and Stewart drove up a lot later than usual and ended up having tea. I went back up in mums attic which is one of my favourite things to do. I came home with some of mum’s old clothes and old computers hoping to retrieve some old photographs but unfortunately, the computers were all wiped blank, but Stewart has decided to make his own computer now out of a ps2. Which isn’t nerdy at all. Before we went home, we all went for a drive so Andrew could show us his skills and honestly, he’s picking up driving really quickly and is already better at it than me, we won’t tell him that though because his head is already as big as the moon.
Because Nikki came home with us on Monday we dedicated Tuesday to colouring her hair from black to a much lighter colour. Nobody should ever dye their hair black if they’re going to be likely to want to change it without spending a lot of time and money on it in salons because it is a bitch of a colour to remove from hair. However, 7hours and 20 mins down and there is no trace of black or even brown in her hair. I think she is very happy with it now which is the main thing.
Me and Nicola decided we were going to play in the studio today and do some photographs. We decided to showcase her new hair and do a unicorn inspired shoot. It’s been a while since I was able to get creative with makeup and these kinds of fantasy inspired shoots are fun for everybody involved because they are so easy going and laid back and honestly can create some proper laugh out loud moments. You can see some of the photographs from this shoot here.
Mum picked me and Nic up today and we spent the day in Gainsborough. We didn’t really do much, just chilled, did some shopping, ate some chips and then went home again. It was a good way to kill a massive part of the day meaning I didn’t have to find something for me and Nic to do because it’s hard enough finding something for yourself to do let alone another person as well. When we got home from mums we sat down for an hour and a half painting some rocks; pics below.
I had some a4 playing cards delivered and They’re so much fun to play with. I have a bit of a thing for playing cards at the moment, I’ve seen A3 size on the internet and they are next on my purchase list.
I woke up with a cold brewing, but that didn’t stop me having the time of my life in the garden with Nik. We decided to trial run the water slide in my back garden. It would work a hell of a lot better with less wind and fewer dogs running in front of you every 5 minutes. We added some bubble bath into the lazy spa and basically, acted like kids for a good majority of the day and basically just made the most of the sunshine. The day ended with us playing cards until midnight, laughing hysterically at nothing. Who knew playing cards could give you so much fun and laughter.
Another day consisting of not a lot. We took Nik home today and spent some time catching up with mum yet again, I might as well move back in, haha! As soon as I got home I decided to move around the bunnies room and make it a bit more cosy and fun for them to live in. They’re all finally getting on together, Olive is the most dominant, she rules the whole house. I love sitting in the room with all my bunnies. They’re such happy little hoppers that love cuddles and attention.
Today we (Me and Stewart) went to Nottingham, mainly to take photographs but we found ourselves checking out what shops there was on offer. We didn’t take as much photography as we would have liked I don’t think, I got a good handful but Stewart got 6 blurry ones so he says. I will upload my pictures in a separate post – but here is a preview.
I hope you all have had a lovely week. I have and I plan on doing some extremely fun stuff this next coming week.
Stay happy and healthy folks,
HAPPY WEDNESDAY EVERYBODY!
I haven’t forgotten that Wednesday is blog day so me and my little sister Nikki decided to do a photo shoot to not only kill time but to share with the internet. We wanted to do something a bit different so we decided to be a bit ‘extravagant’ if you like with the makeup and outfit.
We literally dedicated the whole day to shooting and doing makeup. We did do another look but I am saving that for another blog post.
Me and Nikki have completely different tastes in the things we like and enjoy, I love pink, unicorns, bunnies, you name it anything girly I love it. Nicola, on the other hand, is a bit more of a bad ass in the things that she likes and likes demons and freaky crap like that, so we did a shoot that was more, normal if you like compared to this.
There’s nothing I love more than being able to carelessly experiment with my photography and not worry about them going in a sketchbook and being able to control whether or not they get edited or seen!
Let me know what you think of these and if you have done a shoot similar, I would love to see.
All pictures have been taken with Canon 6D || Edited in Adobe Lightroom || Taken in my home pop up studio.
I’ve re-wrote this post so many times before actually posting it out there for everyone to read because I’ve decided to speak out about some personal struggles within my own anxiety experiences. Because I literally have nothing to report to you about my week I’ve decided to do a bit of a chatty post to accompany it.
Anxiety, we all know how misunderstood this illness is and most of the time it comes paired with depression. Both of which I am a sufferer of. Admittedly I feel as though when I write about my own mental health issues that people do not take it seriously and not only that they see me as a weak human being and this doesn’t apply to everybody who reads my blog or listens to me when I speak to them about it, but sometimes I feel like I am being totally misunderstood and there’s always that underlying feeling that you feel like people are judging you or think you’re lying about it.
I’m going to seriously get pretty deep about my anxiety and depression in this post so warning to anybody who may want to stop reading now.
Before I was put on antidepressants I was in a really bad way. My thoughts were so morbid constantly. I used to picture myself hanging off every tree we drove past in the car. I would sit there in the bath at night and I would wonder if people would actually care if I never came out the bathroom alive. I would constantly visualise people dying in car accidents every time I knew someone was driving somewhere. I was terrified that the people close to me were going to die in a car accident as soon as they got in the car and I wouldn’t rest until I knew they were home or at a destination safe.
I thought these thoughts were completely normal, I was adamant that the way I was, was literally just me and the way I had to live the rest of my life. I thought that if I went to the doctors about it, they wouldn’t believe how I really felt and just send me off on my way without any help, since being on anti-depressants in January it soon became a shock and a relief when these thoughts stopped and I actually started to relax and enjoy life and feel a lot happier about things. I no longer have any of the issues above. I am completely and utterly content with how my life is.
Don’t get me wrong I still have underlying issues like being able to travel on my own, speaking on a telephone or even driving. For some reason, these seem to have much more underlying issues to them that the tablets didn’t make go away and they’re something I am dealing with as every day goes by.
This week has been a tough one because I have had an anxiety filled week and even now I am flooded with feelings of anxiousness. I get these flare ups occasionally and have done for the past few months. I have days where I would not eat either that or I eat so much that I’d be sat up all night feeling sick and have the worst heartburn I also have days where I isolate myself from everybody because I have so much going on in my mind that I need to take a day or two to calm down my mind.
I’ve been considering going back to the doctors but have currently just written how I’ve been off due to surrounding circumstances because when I was finally able to let go of any negative feelings then I found myself feeling a lot better. But this week I was faced with a hard decision on whether or not I wanted to go over everything I had forgotten about again. I found myself getting so worked up over the concept of it that I was getting chest pain, bad asthma attacks and a mass loss of appetite every day and I knew this wasn’t good nor healthy and something had to be done to stop this. Unfortunately without going into detail, what was offered to be done wasn’t good enough. Even explaining that mentally I cannot go through with something, that was not an excuse.
The most hurtful part of the whole situation I am being very cryptic about is that I feel like my mental health is not considered as important and anybody’s mental health should be taken 100% seriously. Mental health kills people and makes people extremely poorly. Why do people not consider this?
I just think anxiety, depression and any other mental health issue should be taken very seriously and people should consider this more regarding situations. Just because they don’t suffer from it or experience it on a day to day basis doesn’t mean it is not there and that people do not suffer from it.
Because of how much of an emotional roller coaster this week has been I honestly can’t remember what I did yesterday without stressing out over not being able to remember so I’m not going to go into a mass detail about how boring it has been.
So, how am I going to move on from this? I’ve done all I can offer and now I need to accept that and stop overthinking situations I cannot control. I’ve done my part and that’s all I can do now. I cannot control how other people want to approach or take on a situation and I won’t allow that to make me feel as though I have made the wrong decision. My mental health is the most important thing to keeping myself fit and healthy, in the mind and physically.