Sisterly Bonding and Photoshoots! 6/08/17

 

Here we are, another week has gone by and I have to say it has been a lot better than last week. I’ve had a pretty positive, anxiety free week and it has been a breath of fresh air. I’ve had company for most of the week as well which has been nice. I love having people come and stay with me cause it actually forces me to do stuff instead of sitting staring at my MacBook doing all sorts of admin work. I haven’t really done anything totally interesting this week;

Monday

Another trip to mothers was on the cards today,  me and Stewart drove up a lot later than usual and ended up having tea. I went back up in mums attic which is one of my favourite things to do. I came home with some of mum’s old clothes and old computers hoping to retrieve some old photographs but unfortunately, the computers were all wiped blank, but Stewart has decided to make his own computer now out of a ps2. Which isn’t nerdy at all. Before we went home, we all went for a drive so Andrew could show us his skills and honestly, he’s picking up driving really quickly and is already better at it than me, we won’t tell him that though because his head is already as big as the moon.

Tuesday

Because Nikki came home with us on Monday we dedicated Tuesday to colouring her hair from black to a much lighter colour. Nobody should ever dye their hair black if they’re going to be likely to want to change it without spending a lot of time and money on it in salons because it is a bitch of a colour to remove from hair. However, 7hours and 20 mins down and there is no trace of black or even brown in her hair. I think she is very happy with it now which is the main thing.

 

Wednesday

Me and Nicola decided we were going to play in the studio today and do some photographs. We decided to showcase her new hair and do a unicorn inspired shoot. It’s been a while since I was able to get creative with makeup and these kinds of fantasy inspired shoots are fun for everybody involved because they are so easy going and laid back and honestly can create some proper laugh out loud moments. You can see some of the photographs from this shoot here.

Thursday

Mum picked me and Nic up today and we spent the day in Gainsborough. We didn’t really do much, just chilled, did some shopping, ate some chips and then went home again. It was a good way to kill a massive part of the day meaning I didn’t have to find something for me and Nic to do because it’s hard enough finding something for yourself to do let alone another person as well. When we got home from mums we sat down for an hour and a half painting some rocks; pics below.

I had some a4 playing cards delivered and They’re so much fun to play with. I have a bit of a thing for playing cards at the moment, I’ve seen A3 size on the internet and they are next on my purchase list.

Friday

I woke up with a cold brewing, but that didn’t stop me having the time of my life in the garden with Nik. We decided to trial run the water slide in my back garden. It would work a hell of a lot better with less wind and fewer dogs running in front of you every 5 minutes. We added some bubble bath into the lazy spa and basically, acted like kids for a good majority of the day and basically just made the most of the sunshine. The day ended with us playing cards until midnight, laughing hysterically at nothing. Who knew playing cards could give you so much fun and laughter.

Saturday

Another day consisting of not a lot. We took Nik home today and spent some time catching up with mum yet again, I might as well move back in, haha! As soon as I got home I decided to move around the bunnies room and make it a bit more cosy and fun for them to live in. They’re all finally getting on together, Olive is the most dominant, she rules the whole house. I love sitting in the room with all my bunnies. They’re such happy little hoppers that love cuddles and attention.

Sunday

Today we (Me and Stewart) went to Nottingham, mainly to take photographs but we found ourselves checking out what shops there was on offer. We didn’t take as much photography as we would have liked I don’t think, I got a good handful but Stewart got 6 blurry ones so he says.  I will upload my pictures in a separate post – but here is a preview.

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I hope you all have had a lovely week. I have and I plan on doing some extremely fun stuff this next coming week.

Stay happy and healthy folks,

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Different Weekly Update: Anxiety Chat.

I’ve re-wrote this post so many times before actually posting it out there for everyone to read because I’ve decided to speak out about some personal struggles within my own anxiety experiences. Because I literally have nothing to report to you about my week I’ve decided to do a bit of a chatty post to accompany it.

Anxiety, we all know how misunderstood this illness is and most of the time it comes paired with depression. Both of which I am a sufferer of.  Admittedly I feel as though when I write about my own mental health issues that people do not take it seriously and not only that they see me as a weak human being and this doesn’t apply to everybody who reads my blog or listens to me when I speak to them about it, but sometimes I feel like I am being totally misunderstood and there’s always that underlying feeling that you feel like people are judging you or think you’re lying about it.

I’m going to seriously get pretty deep about my anxiety and depression in this post so warning to anybody who may want to stop reading now.

Before I was put on antidepressants I was in a really bad way. My thoughts were so morbid constantly. I used to picture myself hanging off every tree we drove past in the car. I would sit there in the bath at night and I would wonder if people would actually care if I never came out the bathroom alive. I would constantly visualise people dying in car accidents every time I knew someone was driving somewhere. I was terrified that the people close to me were going to die in a car accident as soon as they got in the car and I wouldn’t rest until I knew they were home or at a destination safe.

I thought these thoughts were completely normal,  I was adamant that the way I was, was literally just me and the way I had to live the rest of my life. I thought that if I went to the doctors about it, they wouldn’t believe how I really felt and just send me off on my way without any help, since being on anti-depressants in January it soon became a shock and a relief when these thoughts stopped and I actually started to relax and enjoy life and feel a lot happier about things. I no longer have any of the issues above. I am completely and utterly content with how my life is.

Don’t get me wrong I still have underlying issues like being able to travel on my own, speaking on a telephone or even driving. For some reason, these seem to have much more underlying issues to them that the tablets didn’t make go away and they’re something I am dealing with as every day goes by.

This week has been a tough one because I have had an anxiety filled week and even now I am flooded with feelings of anxiousness. I get these flare ups occasionally and have done for the past few months. I have days where I would not eat either that or I eat so much that I’d be sat up all night feeling sick and have the worst heartburn I also have days where I isolate myself from everybody because I have so much going on in my mind that I need to take a day or two to calm down my mind.

I’ve been considering going back to the doctors but have currently just written how I’ve been off due to surrounding circumstances because when I was finally able to let go of any negative feelings then I found myself feeling a lot better. But this week I was faced with a hard decision on whether or not I wanted to go over everything I had forgotten about again. I found myself getting so worked up over the concept of it that I was getting chest pain, bad asthma attacks and a mass loss of appetite every day and I knew this wasn’t good nor healthy and something had to be done to stop this. Unfortunately without going into detail, what was offered to be done wasn’t good enough. Even explaining that mentally I cannot go through with something, that was not an excuse.

The most hurtful part of the whole situation I am being very cryptic about is that I feel like my mental health is not considered as important and anybody’s mental health should be taken 100% seriously. Mental health kills people and makes people extremely poorly.  Why do people not consider this?

I just think anxiety, depression and any other mental health issue should be taken very seriously and people should consider this more regarding situations. Just because they don’t suffer from it or experience it on a day to day basis doesn’t mean it is not there and that people do not suffer from it.

Because of how much of an emotional roller coaster this week has been I honestly can’t remember what I did yesterday without stressing out over not being able to remember so I’m not going to go into a mass detail about how boring it has been.

So, how am I going to move on from this? I’ve done all I can offer and now I need to accept that and stop overthinking situations I cannot control. I’ve done my part and that’s all I can do now. I cannot control how other people want to approach or take on a situation and I won’t allow that to make me feel as though I have made the wrong decision. My mental health is the most important thing to keeping myself fit and healthy, in the mind and physically.

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House Maintenance, Furry Friends..

It feels like it has been an awfully long week.

Monday

Me and Stewart spent the day in Gainsborough today. We didn’t do a lot, just had a mooch around marshals yard and then sat and stuffed our faces at mums house. Just a normal day these days. The weekend was still catching up with me today though, I found myself stupidly tired and so achy from the rad dance moves I was cracking on the dancefloor on Saturday night.

In pictures;
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Tuesday

I did not want a boring day at home, I was enjoying the dismal rainy weather inside and I wanted to enjoy it in the conservatory, however, honestly the conservatory is never a room we really gave any attention at all. We never wanted to be in there. I decided to give it a makeover because I had nothing better to do. I think it looks much better now, just needs another blow-up chair to complete.

Wednesday

I cannot start the day without creating my day’s to-do list over a cup of tea. So, I did that sat in my cosy newly decorated conservatory. Unfortunately, today the sun was making it too hot and I couldn’t stay in there too long. I spent the most of Wednesday doing Admin stuff for the wedding and portrait business I had put on my back burner whilst at college. Packages and Contracts now are written up ready for meetings!

In Pictures;

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Thursday

There’s not really a lot to report about today, I went to mum’s again and Stewart came straight from work for his tea! Mummabear is good to us. I ate a tonne of pink and whites and did a lot of nothing but I was with my family so, I was having the time of my life. Me and Lucy went food shopping with Mum, Eli and Andrew. When we arrived back home at mums, Gaz Mum’s husband had put the chain on the door whilst he was cleaning the upstairs, Mum was getting increasingly impatient as we were trying to should and knock on the door for Gaz’s attention. Before we knew it mum had Nicki Minjed her way into the house, making a paddy sandwich between the door and the wall, that didn’t stop the little monkey yapping at us as we were trying to take the shopping into the house. I think Gaz might have to fix the door chain back on now..

Andrew came back home with me, we played the new PS4 game ‘That’s You!’ My goodness, what a great game, we didn’t stop laughing the whole way through. I cannot wait to play this with more people.

Friday

A day of complete graft in the garden. Our garden is quite possibly the fastest growing garden on the planet, with it being on a hill it is a complete and utter nightmare to maintain, cutting the grass is a full body work out that leaves you sweating buckets no matter how cold the weather is, me and my brother cut down a big tree/weed thing that was blocking out the sunshine in the evenings, I think we both took a bit of frustration out on it, to be honest, didn’t take us long to make short work of it. Stewart wasn’t enjoying the gardening, as much as he was looking forwards to it, I think he instantly regretted it the moment we all actually started to do some work as from that moment on he was grumpy Stewart.

In Pictures;
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Saturday

Today it has been a year since me and Stewart got engaged. A whole year already. I’m starting to think a 5-year engagement is still too short, as now it would be 4 years and we’re nowhere near ready to tie the knot yet, we’re completely in limbo about whether or not we wanna do the house up first and then get married. I have a poorly doggy today, well I say poorly, Alf keeps sneezing, not stopping him from trying to raid the bin, bark his balls off or try and steal my choccy! I’m guessing it’s a bit of allergy, so I gave him an antihistamine and it calmed the sneezing down a considerable amount. I feel so sorry for him though because he headbutts whatever is in his way when he sneezes. I’ve heard him a lot bang his nose off the floor today; pretty sure that won’t be helping.

I’ve done more business work today, Finally finished my website for my wedding photography. It took me 3 days to do!! I am feeling super positives this time about my photographic ventures.

Feel free to check out my new website here.

In Pictures;

Sunday

Sunday, today has consisted of me and Stewart taking a walk around the bail gate taking tonnes of photographs ( and playing Pokemon!) and town where we decided to see what the Lincoln food festival was like. After this, we went to meet Stewart’s mum and Matt for a carvery. We decided after this though we weren’t ready to go home just yet. So we decided to go back out and get some more photographs but this time took our proper cameras with us; I’ve not edited these ones yet though; check out my phone ones below.

In Pictures;

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16th June 2017

Here we are again, the time of the week I bore you with how very little I have done this week. This week honestly, hasn’t really been that bad. Sunday Me and Stewart took a trip to The Bailgate, we were initially going up there to go to Lincoln Castle, there was a Comedy and Food festival going on and we were intrigued by it. After finding out that halloumi fries were like £10 we decided we’d rather just sit and have a Greg’s and just take a walk around town. It was a very relaxed day, I am still a bit narked that I never got to go to my favourite ice-cream parlour though. On from that, we spent the evening at Stewart’s mum’s house, having a good catch up and natter with the family and a delicious Indian takeaway.

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Me and Stewart downloaded Pokemon go again and decided to take a walk around the Bailgate yet again. It was something to do, it got us out the house and walking, getting in those daily steps. Not gonna lie, I’m WELL happy with the new Pokemon I  caught – I had to put my only lure on though because literally nobody plays it anymore and there were no lures anywhere across town. *sobs*

On Wednesday I went and chilled in Lincoln Castle grounds with my best friend Caitlin. It’s so cool you can literally sit within the walls of the castle and just chill, enjoy the free wifi and have a chat, read a book, do some work or have a picnic. We then went to the cutest little cafe on steep hill called Bells Tea Shop. It was so cute and the food was delicious.

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I spent the day at mum’s house and got to experience the stress of taking a 2-year-old shopping, as much as he was adorable pushing his little trolly of flowers around the shop, he was not cute when I was pushing his trolly and he was running off shouting ”POO,POOO!”

”Eli, do you need to go poo?”

Nope, he’s just shouting poo, poo for the fun of it. Kids eh.

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I’ve got my brother, sister and her partner coming around tonight for some drinks, Buzz the music quiz and Singstar. I’m very excited about it. I will update you on the next weekly update about the antics of that event.

To end this post here is a stupidly adorable photograph of all by buns at dinner time.

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